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	A Pilgrim's Guide to the Grief Journey. References
	Set out below are all the web references that have been referred to in the chapter endnotes in Robert Weston's book 'The Vale of Tears'. As many web addresses are very long, we have collated and linked them here for easier access
	Chapter 1 The Valley of the Shadow Endnote 5: An elderly couple returning home from the mission field, seemingly un-welcomed and unappreciated. But God reassures them that their work is significant in His eyes, telling them that the best is yet to come.
	Chapter 2 Facing the Reality of Grief Endnote 25: Tolstoy wrote a very similar piece called “Papa Panov’s Special Christmas.”
	Chapter 4 Minimizing Grief's Desolation Endnote 3: See also my article on weariness: www.ruachministries.org/articlesandpublications/isaiah40.doc Endnote 7: Teaching series on the seven churches in the book of Revelation. These are all pdf files. Jesus, Lord of all, Ephesus Smyrna Pergamum and Thyatira Sardis Philadelphia Laodicea Endnote 12: See www.ruachministries.org/articlesandpublications/marriages.doc Endnote 13: Try adapting the model posted at http://www.trauma-relief.com/Marriage/couplesprayer.html; Endnote 25: I have written in more detail on the purpose that God has in allowing these dark times to come our way. See www.ruachministries.org/intimacyandeternity.htm, the dark night of the soul.
	Chapter 5 Strategies for Resolving Grief Endnote 6: http://www.ruachministries.org/intimacyandeternity/towardsalifeofreflectionchapter3.htm Endnote 10: You may find Louise de Salvo’s Writing as a Means of Healing (Women’s Press) and my own Craft of Writing helpful. This is downloadable from:http://www.ruachministries.org/thecraftofwriting.htm Endnote 12: Managing Grief through Journal Writing. http://www.journaltherapy.com/articles/cjtsec08_i.htm
	Chapter 6 Fallout from Grief Endnote 1: Tony Cooke provides a concise overview on what to say, and what to refrain from saying at funerals. See http://www.tonycooke.org/free_resources/funeral/index.html and http://www.tonycooke.org/free_resources/funeral/dos_donts.html for details. Also http://christianity.about.com/od/christianfuneral/a/funeralplanning.htm Endnote 7:For an article that highlights the grief that grandparents experience, see http://www.madd.org/getattachment/de08a3f5-20cd-48aa-a6d2-8848b3ecdd9c/Double--Edged-Grief.aspx Endnote 9: See my article Dealing with Disappointment Endnote 16: see www.ruachministries.org/photogallery.htm Endnote 20: John Paul Jackson’s Unmasking the Jezebel Spirit (Kingsway) reveals important spiritual dynamics that may be at work in such situations. See our web site for a detailed book review. Endnote 21: I would like to recommend Tom Marshall’s excellent book Understanding Leadership, Sovereign World. You may also find my publication ‘Out Front’ helpful. Click here to access. http://www.ruachministries.org/pilgrimsguides/outfront.htm
	Chapter 7 Lending our Strength Endnote 2: See my article ‘What do you say when people ask you how you are?’ www.ruachministries.org/Talks/whatdoyousay.htm Endnote 6: For an introduction to reflective listening, see http://www.huntel.net/rsweetland/cman/verbal/reflListng.html http://www.drnadig.com/listening.htm and http://crs.uvm.edu/nnco/communsupp/work2.html Endnote 8: article on hypocrisy (to come)
	Chapter 8 If Grief Takes Convoluted Paths Endnote 3: Pain-prone personalities. See http://www.bradyinstitute.com/aboutBook/painProne.asp#people Endnote 10: Although we should not attribute ultimate authority to testimonies regarding death bed experiences, a number of stories can be found at http://bibleprobe.com/nde.htm. Those recorded by Dr Maurice Rawlings concern people who tell their stories immediately after recovering from cardiac arrest. It was found that they tend to forget all memory of negative experiences within a few days. See also: www.grmi.org/Richard_Riss/evidences2/27nde.html Cf http://home.earthlink.net/~ronrhodes/qbeingoflight.html Endnote 13: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2007/07/08/do0803.xml check link, assisted dying news article Endnote 20: hypocrisy article
	Chapter 9 The Wider Picture Endnote 2: http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/323/7327/1450 ‘The Effects of remote, retroactive, intercessory prayer on outcomes in patients with bloodstream infection: randomised controlled trial’ Endnote11: This is a link to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of South Africa. 'The Truth shall set you free.' Endnote 15: Teaching on the seven churches in Revelation. Jesus, Lord of all, Ephesus Smyrna Pergamum and Thyatira Sardis Philadelphia Laodicea Endnote 16: Tower of Strength prayer. http://www.lcms.org/graphics/assets/media/Office%20of%20the%20President/September%2027%202001.pdf Endnote 21: http://users.erols.com/mwhite28/warstat2.htm Endnote 28: Ruth Fazell has created a moving oratorio out of poems written by child survivors of the concentration camp at Terezín (formerly known as Theresienstadt). In 1941, the Nazi’s converted this small town (which lies to the northwest of Prague) into a transit concentration camp for Jews. To the outside world, Terezín was presented as a ‘model Jewish settlement’ – a resort-like atmosphere with stores, café, bank, kindergarten, school, and flower gardens. In reality, Terezín was an overcrowded way station for the death camps, to which the transports would come to take adults and children alike to the gas chambers of Auschwitz. Many died in Terezin itself, as a result of the horrendous overcrowding. Many of the prisoners were musicians, writers, poets, artists and intellectuals. Even in the midst of such depravity, they and their children turned to art to transcend their pain. While regular schooling was prohibited, classes were held clandestinely and the 15,000 Jewish children, who were at one time or another held captive in Terezín, were encouraged to paint and write. Of those 15,000, only about 100 survived. You can hear excerpts of Ruth Fazell’s oratorio at https://ruthfazal.com/oratorio-terezin/ Endnote 33 Intimacy and Eternity
	Appendix 2 Endnote 1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_%28psychology%29 Endnote 2: http://www.dundee.ac.uk/counselling/leaflets/perfect.htm Endnote 5: http://www.ruachministries.org/Talks/A_Pilgrim's_Guide_to_Overcoming_Shame.htm
	Appendix 3 Endnote 2: For further details about these practical arrangements, see: http://www.aarp.org/families/end_life/" http://www.aarp.org/community/search.bt?query=Practical+Arrangements http://www.aarp.org/families/grief_loss/ http://www.aarp.org/families/grief_loss/a2004-11-15-finalchecklist.html